Interesting Gym Habits #1: The Pack

So, the idea of this series of blogs is that I notice some unusual personality behaviors that exist in gyms all around you.

For this first one, I'm talking about The Pack.

You've probably noticed them. They're the ones that are always moving together from machine to machine in the gym. Or they're together around a bench in the locker room. Or they're hanging out in the lobby.

The Pack consists of no less than five people at any given time. More often than not there are at least eight or so members who alternate appearances in The Pack, but there are one or two who are always part of The Pack. They need The Pack like Mr. Freeze needs subzero temperatures. The Pack is also mostly male, but may have a token female member that makes roughly one appearance a week and during those times is usually flanked by male Pack members on at least three sides while using a machine.

There's a difference between The Pack and having a workout partner. Workout partners are perfectly fine and normal behavior. However, The Pack demonstrates the following behaviors:

Behavior 1: Machine hogging- The Pack all take turns going through their sets on the same machine or bench. It also takes them at least two minutes between each individual set to start the next one. Once The Pack comes in contact with a machine, good luck getting to use it for at minimum 20-30 minutes. There are unconfirmed reports one Pack at a 24-hour gym in central Wisconsin has been working on getting their preacher curls done since last April.

Behavior 2: Conversation- The Pack will never fully stop talking. At least three of them are involved in a discussion at any given. These discussions also usually include terminology that would fit in just fine at any sailor bar you could think of. If the token female acquaintance is not present, odds are pretty good the conversation is about her.

Behavior 3: Machismo- Once an individual has become part of The Pack, their ego increases by no less than 124,762.85 percent and any noises they may have made while straining automatically double in decibel level (Note: this will likely receive it's own edition of Intersting Gym Habits in the future). This is all despite the fact they still look the same, they aren't lifting any more than they were before joining The Pack and have probably stunted any gains they're going to make because of decreased effort while at the gym due to excessive time between sets (see Behavior 1)

Prevention: If you are considering joining The Pack at your local gym, ask yourself these questions: 1) Am I an megalomaniacal jackass now? and 2) If I'm not a megalomaniacal jackass now, am I interested in becoming one? If the answer to both of these questions is no, do not join The Pack and take great care to keep the number of workout partners at any given time to one, possibly two. Also, a high ration of lifting to conversation undertaking is extremely anti-Pack and can help ward off Pack-ish desires.

You stay classy, central Wisconsin. (Never been. What's it like there?)